Holding Back

How are you all?

I’ll just let you guys know a few things I have personally learned lately. Pretty much, you need to know yourself, your own setbacks, because honestly no one but you can really get you on track. I used to think that I wasn’t very well liked, however, it wasn’t so much as not being liked. But I was so afraid of my own abilities to be as social as the rest that I completely missed the point of what socializing was really about. I had great people around me, and they wanted to know me better, but I held myself back because I was just so shy. I regret not having the guts to just go ahead and co-exist with people that I thought were great. I realized too, that I could not keep going through life being afraid of the things I wanted. I wanted to be a normal person. I had things going on that were difficult to cope with in my personal/family life, but school became my safe heaven. Joining in school activities was the thing I had to keep me sane. I would stay there for longer than needed, just to feel like I had a purpose that didn’t involve sadness. I pulled through and realized, I could just do that, things that are fun, things that involved a risk on my part, things that I was curious about learning, and eventually I’d stop being so afraid of the things I wanted but didn’t exactly know, or have. I always go back to my shy and awkward place when faced with something unknown. But, I’m working on making sure that it doesn’t prevent me from doing things that I want.

Who is to say that the next random thing I want to do won’t be a great adventure? And even if it isn’t, why not make it one? Or at the very least a great learning experience. Do any of you have something that you have struggled with, if you are anything like me and shy and get awkward when around new people and situations, how do you deal with it? Has it stopped you from doing things that you want to do?

Feel free to share things, and good luck!


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